names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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