Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
