$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
