Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
