i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
