Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
