We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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