so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
