Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
