I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
