I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
