i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize