if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
