People in love make me want to vomit
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize