I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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