let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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