i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said her name was "party"
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
