Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
