He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
