A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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