She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize