she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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