We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
