what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
