Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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