The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
