Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
