mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I smell like Dick and happiness
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