woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
