The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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