Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
