I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
