but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
