They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
