why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
