I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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