Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
