My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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