I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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