Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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