Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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