you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize
