I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
