And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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