youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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