i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
