Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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