i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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