Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
