my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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