yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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