god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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