I heard we made out
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
