Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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