remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
