im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
