Say something about gay babies.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I lost the right to judge tonight
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
