OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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