Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.