and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
