Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure