What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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