i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
