I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
