My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize